shaky legs holding up my feet // DYLAN

[louvel damien dupont]

y o u r b o d y l a n g u a g e i s

[/font]
T E L L I N G M E Y O U ‘ R E W O R T H T H E P A I N
s o w e a k I c a n h a r d l y k e e p
- - - - -[/center]

louvel dupont had spent most of his waking life under the charm of a pair of scissor s and a needle and thread or warmed by the glow of an lcd screen, chopping away at his little bits of remaining aggression piece by piece. he’d also spent most of his life under the shadow of impending school deadlines that his teachers had long since stopped expecting him to meet.
it was almost cute, he thought, how the teachers at this academy continued trying for him. continued actually believing in him. he scoffed a little at how ridiculous they were. with their high standards and expectations. if there was something louvel didn’t care about, it was definitely schoolwork. which was why, as soon as his television had mysteriously turned off for the third time that day, it was not louvel’s instinct to go do his work. instead, he decided it was best to do anything but his work.
which was why, after a good time spent flailing around trying to find a plot point in a persona game, time found louvel wandering sleepily around the dorms, sewing bag under his arm. he found a small corner of the hallway and opened his sewing bag, removing the white suit from its cloth enclosure. his fingers worked their way to the bottom of the cloth-stuffed bag, recoiling a little every time one hit a pin or one of the loose needles in the bottom of the bag. he was praying, hoping against hope that the bottle he was looking for hadn’t been punctured by one of those needles.
it hadn’t been. he let out a long sigh of relief and withdrew it, checking that he was on tile, eyes scanning the hall for a bathroom or a water fountain. not far away, there was a single waterfountain. louvel doubted he’d need one, though. if he was careful, he could manage this easily. it was probably safer to do it outside, though.
he paused in thought for a moment. safe, or warm? safe or warm. definitely a good question to be asking. well. outside did have the right mood.
louvel sighed, standing up again and pushing the suit jacket back into the bag and slowly drawing himself vertical again. he suddenly curled forward the slightest bit, shoots of pain sliding around his lungs, as he tried, and failed, to take a deep breath. his hands flew to the compression shirt stretched across his chest under his t-shirt and he pulled at it, dragging it away from his ribs the tiniest bit as he struggled to breathe. slowly, his lungs decided to expand fully again, and he took a few deep breaths, and then his hold on the compression shirt relaxed, it sunk back against his ribs. tight, but comforting. his face blanched, he shakily made his way to the end of the hall next to the drinking fountain and pulled out the suit jacket again. he was staying inside for now. out came the bottle of fake blood, which he began rubbing in slight spattered patterns into his suit. this particular costume was almost complete. almost, but not quite. he needed the undershirt. the hair gel. some sort of way to create the slight stubble on his chin that nick had.
no matter. for now, he’d continue bloodying his suit.

[/size][/justify]

- - - - -

i’vebecomewhatamother [/size]!![/font][/color][/size] 556 words[/font]
wouldn’twantinason[/size]!![/font][/size] tagged OPEN[/font]
andihavedone[/size]!![/font][/size] note: yay. first post with this guy. kind of scattered. i’m sorry. anyway. anyone feel free to hop right in.[/font]
afewthingsiregret[/size]!![/font][/size] lyrics credit to the CUTE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR[/font]
butpracticemakesperfect[/size]!![/font][/size] thread template credit to tom ice[/font]

[dylan ann mazani]

dylan mazani

The sun that entered through the window of her single dorm caused the girl to rustle and toss the covers off her. She raced from the bed and into the bathroom, turning quickly to view that the wings were gone. A sigh erupted from the girl and she slumped down, the groggy morning feelings were enough to cause her to clip her hip on the counter in her room. She sighed heavily and rubbed the sore spot gently as she moved back toward the bed. She laid back down on it and closed her eyes, thinking to herself about the previous night. She was confused, so confused how she felt attracted to James in the way she had. She had Matthew... well... okay no, she had once had Matthew. Maybe that was it. She felt empty without him and wanted to fill that void with someone who didn't care about social standards and just wanted to be with her. James had seemed to have that kind of vibe.

She laid on her stomach in her bed for several long moments until the girl finally decided it was time to get up and move. She didn't feel like doing much, she didn't feel like leaving her room even, but the growl that formed in her stomach urged her on. She needed something to fill the hunger that drinking from James had left. Human food would be enough for now, and she would have been more than happy to eat something right now. So Dylan wasted no time in putting on socks, putting on sneakers, and leaving the room in the tank top and shorts that she had worn to bed. She smoothed her hair down roughly with a brush and opened the door, glancing down the hallway. She noticed one person, sitting off alone at the end of the hallway and she offered a smile, but she quickly noticed how as they started to stand, they doubled over in pain.

Dylan, being the kind of person she was, couldn't just walk away from it. But she didn't want to intrude either, so she waited until she was certain he was okay before she started to move. But as he walked toward the fountain and pulled the suit from it as well as a bottle that looked like blood, the girl blinked for several long moments before forcing herself to go over. There were just a few things she wanted to ask him. And this whole blood thing was kind of peculiar. She bit her lip, the thought of blood brought back the thought of James and his sweet blood and she had to rip her thoughts away before something went wrong. But she was too curious to walk away, so instead she walked over, quietly watching his movements before gently clearing her throat. Creating a crime scene? Faking a death? Working on a costume for Halloween? A little early for that isn't it? She said with a light smile, waiting for a response.

[/font][/blockquote]

[louvel damien dupont]

y o u r b o d y l a n g u a g e i s

[/font]
T E L L I N G M E Y O U ‘ R E W O R T H T H E P A I N
s o w e a k I c a n h a r d l y k e e p
- - - - -[/center]

louvel’s mind had drifted into the arts and crafts kind of ‘block everything out and just focus on the task at hand’ set and he’d just been letting his thoughts wander a little. as long as they didn’t focus on his lungs, he’d be happy. a hand self consciously went to touch his chest, then moved away after a moment as he re-adjusted the suit under slim fingers. too feminine. far too feminine. he shuddered, stomach stirring a little as he poured some more fake blood into his palm, let it dribble down onto the collar of the jacket.
there was a soft throat clear behind him and he jumped, the remaining blood in his palm splattering across the jacket and the floor. he whipped around as the girl started talking.
“creating a crime scene? faking a death? working on a costume for halloween? a little early for that isn't it?”
louvel looked over at her, timid green eyes meeting her brown ones. he slowly stood up, all five feet, eleven inches and gangly form drawing him taller than her by a few inches. he ran a nervous hand through his hair, stomach still churning a little. she was pretty. super pretty. she seemed as though she had a lot of confidence behind her smile. her curiously light smile. friendly. louvel returned his own tiny smile and cast his gaze down toward the floor as he knelt to wipe at the fake blood splattered on the floor with the sleeve of his shirt.
“it’s for a cosplay. i mean. uh. it’s for dressing up like this character. from this video game. left for dead two,” louvel murmured more to the floor than to her, shivering a little. he liked the odd warm feel she had. the slight underlying current of electricity. something odd. exotic. he cast her a glance over his shoulder as he continued mopping up fake blood with his sleeve.
“nick. the character, i mean. he hunts zombies. and he’s usually really bloody. he’s really rugged. a tough guy,” he was going to speak more but then he realised how he’d let his voice slip up to its comfortable pitch, and realised how girly he sounded. he cast his gaze down to the floor again, slowly picking his suit up and hanging it off the side of the water fountain to start on the back. he poured another small handful of red into his right hand and dripped a little down one shoulder, focusing hard on it, trying to tighten his jaw and square his shoulders, make him seem broader there. anything to pass to this girl. he wanted friends, but he also wanted friends who understood he was male and hadn’t ever thought of him as female. he kept his eyes down and away from her, continued his ministrations. tried not to think of the pretty girl next to him, looking at what he was doing. his fingers trembled the slightest bit, nervousness taking over.

[/size][/justify]

- - - - -

i’vebecomewhatamother [/size]!![/font][/color][/size] 499 words[/font]
wouldn’twantinason[/size]!![/font][/size] tagged DYLAN[/font]
andihavedone[/size]!![/font][/size] note: woo![/font]
afewthingsiregret[/size]!![/font][/size] lyrics credit to the CUTE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR[/font]
butpracticemakesperfect[/size]!![/font][/size] thread template credit to tom ice[/font]

[dylan ann mazani]

dylan mazani

She had felt like a creep, standing there quietly watching him work, and now as she was waiting so quietly for a response, she realized she had to draw his attention away in the softest way she could, and she did that with the throat clearing. But she noted it as a fail when he jumped as badly as he did, and the girl frowned slightly. I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. She spoke softly, sincere emotion in her voice as she lowered her gaze. But as he turned, she allowed herself to meet his gaze, finding herself having to look up slightly. He was taller than she, not too much, but enough where she had to tilt her head up to view him in his entirety. She watched quietly as he drew a hand through his hair and gently she smiled, her bright eyes sparkling as she did.

But his smile that was returned was nervous, and she felt her's become a little bigger. She thought it was cute that he was nervous around her. Dylan Mazani, of all people, made someone nervous. And as he knelt down to wipe up the fake blood, her mind flashed to the interrogation room that she had been brought into only a week ago, the pictures of the blood everywhere. She shivered, half glad that she could play it off as if she was cold, and in a way she was. Her blood felt like ice that had frozen in her veins. She was snapped out of it though, as he spoke, his voice sound a little too high for him, but she understood. She could tell just by looking that she wanted to be a he, and that was fine by her. She could respect that.

Sweetie, I know what cosplay is. She said with a smile, and a big one at that. She had never thought much of it herself, and never really had the urge to try it, but she had indeed heard of it before. She watched as he quietly moved back to his suit and smiled again. I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable, I can leave if it would help. She said politely. Dylan never liked making people feel uncomfortable, in any way shape or form. She hated making people feel out of place and she was doing it now, it made her feel awful. She felt her cheeks flush at the idea of him feeling so uneasy around her, and continued to watch him mop up the fake blood. As he turned to work on his costume though, the girl softly walked around the water fountain and leaned against the wall on the opposite side of it, crossing her arms over her chest and quietly just watching him as he worked.

I've never heard of it, to be honest. I mean, it sounds interesting, but I've never heard of the game or the character. She said with a soft smile. I mean, yeah, she knew a few video games, but she wasn't a gamer and wasn't about to pretend to be. So instead she watched in silence as he worked on his suit, interested in the work he was doing. But as she watched him work, she was softly noting his movements, watching as his jaw tightened and his shoulders squared and how, as she was watching him, his hands shook. She felt very bad now, terrible actually, that she did this to him. Dylan knew she was pretty, but she didn't see it to the extent that men did. In a nutshell, she saw herself as nothing compared to some girls, and definitely nothing to look at. Matthew Winter had never been able to put that thought out of her head, and ever since he had basically left her, any hope of it had been put to rest.

[/font][/blockquote]

[louvel damien dupont]

y o u r b o d y l a n g u a g e i s

[/font]
T E L L I N G M E Y O U ‘ R E W O R T H T H E P A I N
s o w e a k I c a n h a r d l y k e e p
- - - - -[/center]

louvel’s heart jumped in his throat. stupid, stupid. lots of people know what cosplay is. why explain it? he thought, shaking his head. he cast her a little glance, sizing her up again. there was a spark of understanding in her eyes after he stopped talking. he relaxed a little. she understood, but carried on with the conversation as though nothing had happened. that was good. she either didn’t care or was supportive. he felt his smile returning. the mysterious pretty girl who’d randomly decided to talk to him understood. he felt a warmness calm his belly. she was friendly. he could feel that much. his quivering stopped slowly, his eyes brightened a little.
he set down the bottle of fake blood, capped it, and then stood up, turning to face her. his eyes met hers again and he offered a slightly less uncomfortable smile. friendly. receptive to the small act of kindness she’d committed by talking to the strange boy in the hall. she’d offered to leave, to which he shook his head vigorously. he didn’t want anything of the sort. it was rare people talked to him and rarer still they gave that understanding vibe. the quiet respect. he soothed his own emotions slowly, setting himself straight. setting his worries that she was only going to tease him in a moment away from his thoughts for a moment. he looked down, away, and then back at her, repeating this a few times before he had the courage to talk.
“no, no. please. please don’t leave. i uh. i really like your vibes. you’re all warm… and and. uh,” louvel murmured to himself, shook his head a few times, then wrung his hands. “i’m not used to people talking to me is all. especially attractive people. or people who seem so friendly.”
louvel’s cheeks flamed, then blanched, as he realized what he’d said. he looked down, then away again. didn’t bring his eyes to hers. he tentatively turned to run each hand in turn under the water fountain, then rub them vigorously together, to hide how embarrassed he was after saying such a bold thing. after a few deep breaths, his heart stilled and his lungs stopped feeling so tight. he gave a shaky smile again, and turned toward dylan.
“i’m. i’m uh. i’m louvel. you can. you can call me louie, though. louie is fine. louie is what my friends call me. i’m sorry. i’m really sorry. i’m super awkward, as you can… and already have probably figured out,” his shaky smile evolved into a shy one as he tentatively reached out a hand. “nice to uh. nice to meet you.”
it had been a while since louvel had introduced himself to anyone. since someone had given him the time to let him do so properly. and the rare occurrence of meeting a stranger somewhere besides a convention… well, that was unheard of in louvel’s life. he shuddered at the thought of meeting normal people. people who weren’t just as awkward and nerdy as he was. it wasn’t something he’d ever really considered as possible. if you didn’t spend your time nerding out over something all day, how did you spend your time? it just… it didn’t make sense to him. these otherworldly creatures who didn’t have a fandom to follow or a cosplay to be working on constantly. they were both mysterious and mildly alluring.

[/size][/justify]

- - - - -

i’vebecomewhatamother [/size]!![/font][/color][/size] 568 words[/font]
wouldn’twantinason[/size]!![/font][/size] tagged DYLAN[/font]
andihavedone[/size]!![/font][/size] note: introduction to louie being the most awkward character.[/font]
afewthingsiregret[/size]!![/font][/size] lyrics credit to the CUTE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR[/font]
butpracticemakesperfect[/size]!![/font][/size] thread template credit to tom ice[/font]

[dylan ann mazani]

dylan mazani

Dylan couldn't help but wonder what it was about this guy who had peaked her interest. Maybe it was concern, or curiosity, or possibly even a little bit of both. She knew many men, not in the way that she knew Winter, but she knew many men. And yet whenever she made one of them feel awkward (which happened quite a bit) she always felt bad. Even now, well especially now. Because this guy was interesting, and not just because he was strange, but different too. Dylan had a thing about people who were into different things or were different, and she felt like she did because she was different. By everyone's standards, by the Society's standards, she was different. And she hated it, and maybe that was why she reached out to the people that were different, because she didn't want them to feel out there or alone.

She watched him as he capped the bottle and turned back to face her and a small smile touched her face as he did. His own smile seemed slightly more assured, and quite happy to be. She felt good about that, but when she had offered to leave, his reaction had made her smile just a little wider before it faded, not much, but enough where it wasn't as bright or as dazzling and her eyes weren't as bright either. She had that problem. Her sincere smiles only lasted for a few seconds before they slid away, because she had those emotions inside that constantly screamed she wasn't good enough, or pretty enough, and in a way that was kind of how she had begun to accept it as, emptying. That was how her emotions made her feel. She could feel happy one moment, or sad one moment and then completely empty, like it had made no difference that it had been there at all.

When he spoke though, she offered a friendly smile, but his words of being attractive hit her and rolled off, almost like she hadn't even heard it before. I'm nothing special, don't worry about it though, I'll stay. She said with a soft shrug. She had that piece of her that screamed at her and hated her because she was different. And because of it she could hardly ever open up to anyone other than Matthew and that had only ever been to an extent. James had never tried to force an idea like that down her throat and it would have been completely inappropriate had he. So she wasn't foreign to the idea of being thought of as attractive, but she wasn't accustomed to the idea either. She looked him over though as his face turned bright red and she smiled softly.

She let him turn away, not trying to make him feel any more awkward or anything, and waited until he was ready to talk again, focusing her eyes down at the ground. She heard the water going and assumed he was washing the fake blood from his hands. As he turned back and offered her his name, she smiled and looked up at him. Well, it's nice to meet you Louie, I'm Dylan. I sometimes get called Dee by my dad and by the friends that have heard him say it, but I prefer Dylan. She said with a smile. To be honest, Dylan quite enjoyed her name, she wasn't sure what it was about it. She had a name that was actually quite tom-boyish but she loved it just the same. You really aren't that awkward, and it's cute. She said with a smile before continuing. And besides, I like it, you being kind of awkward, I actually have a problem with guys who are too confident about themselves.

[/font][/blockquote]

[louvel damien dupont]

y o u r b o d y l a n g u a g e i s

[/font]
T E L L I N G M E Y O U ‘ R E W O R T H T H E P A I N
s o w e a k I c a n h a r d l y k e e p
- - - - -[/center]

louvel watched her eyes, suddenly worried about her. he hated when people smiled but didn’t mean it. he hated it when people held their emotions out of his reach like he didn’t deserve to know. but maybe he didn’t. he had just met this girl, after all. she was just so… her intentions were good and her troubles seemed a little deep. she had hidden depths and a certain kind of sadness louvel just wanted to hug her for. he had the inclination to believe she wouldn’t enjoy physical contact for some reason, though, so he just let her go on.
“i'm nothing special, don't worry about it though, i'll stay.”
he wanted to speak up and tell her she had all of these wonderful friendly vibes that gave her this bright light that hung around her but he thought that would sound so weird, especially coming from some boy she’d just met. he felt like there was something he should be doing for her, though. something. anything. the itch to hug her was growing. usually the antisocial type, louvel was surprising himself with the sudden wishes to be this girl’s friend and hug her and, if he was honest with himself, that urge to fix people was returning. he just wanted to fix all of her problems and make her feel better.
she offered up her name and louie beamed. it was a nice name. a genderless name. he liked genderbending, gender neutrality. dylan didn’t seem very gender neutral though, so he’d just add her name to the growing pile of things he liked about her and leave it at that.
he stood and pushed his fake blood back into his sewing bag and looked at his jacket, then closed the bag. he’d have to let the blood dry before he put it anywhere so he just readjusted the hanger in the jacket, straightened it on the hook.
“so what are you into? i mean… i’m obviously the uh. the nerd here. so uh. what are your interests? unless you’re busy. i mean. oh gosh. i don’t want to waste your time.” louvel dipped his head with the words, eyes down to the floor and a spot he’d missed. he crouched to wipe at it again. “gosh. i must seem so weird to you.”

[/size][/justify]

- - - - -

i’vebecomewhatamother [/size]!![/font][/color][/size] 385 words[/font]
wouldn’twantinason[/size]!![/font][/size] tagged DYLAN[/font]
andihavedone[/size]!![/font][/size] note: so short TT.TT[/font]
afewthingsiregret[/size]!![/font][/size] lyrics credit to the CUTE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR[/font]
butpracticemakesperfect[/size]!![/font][/size] thread template credit to tom ice[/font]

[dylan ann mazani]

dylan mazani

She felt a little awkward this time, standing before him with nothing to fill their silence which was slowly turning awkward seeing as she had nothing else to focus her brain on. She could have retreated into her silent battle between herself, Morin, and Winter, but right now she just wanted to put it all aside. She didn't want to be hurting the way she always was, sad the way she always was. She was sick of waking up every morning and looking in the mirror to see that the wings were gone, looking at her ugly face and wondering why in the world she was even here if all her parents had ever wanted was for her to be an abomination. She stifled a sigh, instead drawing in a careful breath, one that she held in her chest for awhile before it finally snaked back out, taking one deep, attempted relaxing breath after another, but nothing seemed to work. The self hatred was kicking in, and of course, it was at a bad of time as any.

The way Dylan looked at her situation was that she was made broken, and that the most that could be fixed when trying to fix her was that she would be slightly less broken. She would always be something she wasn't supposed to be, and that was something she had always hated. Dylan had wanted to be... well she wanted to be either a vampire or a dark angel. Nothing more. No hybrid, no freak genes. Just... normal. Was that too hard to ask? Dylan raised her hand and pulled her hair back from her face, a nervous habit, and twisted it in her hands before pulling it over her shoulder and simply playing with the thick lump of brown hair that curled into large ringlets. Her big brown eyes were pained and directed toward the floor, almost ashamed to meet this boy's gaze. He had to be human, nothing else really explained his weak demeanor, and she didn't mind talking to a human in the least. Some days she kind of wished that she was human herself... so she didn't have to worry about the problems of being on a side, so she didn't have to worry about being framed for something she couldn't do. Just so she didn't have to worry.

But after offering her name, she was pulled back from her inner war, looking up to see his smile which actually brought her own small smile back to her face. He was sweet, and even though he was different, she liked it. Because he wasn't an abomination and if he was a human, he would never see her as one herself. She returned to running her fingers slowly through her hair, touching the soft cushion of hair gently as she watched him return his fake blood back to his bag. She detested the smell of any blood for that matter, and his fake blood was just awful. She had a stronger sense of smell, as all vampires did, and it caused her teeth to curl when a bottle of fake blood was around her. Always had. Back in London, she had once taken a class for Forensics. The fake blood had actually been enough to make her vomit because the smell was so awful.

After he had straightened the jacket on the hanger though, he spoke to her, and she met his gaze as he did so. Well she did, until his gaze met the floor like an old friend, so instead she cast her gaze onto him, her eyes looking him over, as he spoke. Well, hmm. I don't know. I mean, I write. I sing. Keep to myself whenever I can. That's about it. She said with a soft smile, but a faint one at that, forcing her own gaze down to the floor now, not sure what else to look at. No, you aren't keeping me from much. I was going to go get something to eat but I can wait, I'm not overly hungry right now. It was a small lie, she was quite hungry, but one that she didn't mind telling. She didn't simply want to just leave this boy here. He was interesting, and different, yet normal by her own standards. And she quite liked it, being able to be happy. I wouldn't go as far to call you weird. A little different maybe, but by no means would I call you weird.

[/font][/blockquote]